 OK so this is Wollongong. It seems like everyone knows each other … but in this case, we’re talking about the world wide web. You’ve met someone online and there’s a feeling of shared history. Like you know what they’re about.
Internet dating is accelerating the rate with which this type of intimacy is shared. Details about personal lives and interests are often exchanged well before a first date is underway.
Great for those who are shy and better behind a screen than in front of a date. But at some point, you’ve got to put down the mouse and pick up your date for a night out.
One big plus for online dating is that it can lead to a feeling of comfort, knowing that you know a fair bit about your prospective date before you’ve laid eyes on them. With all that water under the bridge, it can also leave you wondering what to say when you do finally get to meet face-to-face.
After all, you already know about your date’s family, what they do in their spare time, which places they like to hang out on the weekend, what they do for a crust and who their favourite band is.
As the small talk has already been, well, talked, the ‘newly-webbed’ can find it uncomfortable going in deeper the first time they meet in person. A lot of ground has already been covered, but you don’t want to go in for the big stuff for fear of scaring them
off.
“Online dating speeds up the whole process. It takes the fun and intrigue out of dating”, says Wollongong dater Daniela S. “The more you exchange information with someone online, the more you build up a picture of them in your mind.
When you meet, something somehow falls down. And some things don’t add up. There are often discrepancies
between what they’ve told you about themselves and the person who’s sitting in front of you. I much prefer meeting new people through friends than on the net,” she says. “Give me a blind date, a singles party or speed dating over online dating any day.”
With dating rituals changing almost as fast as technology, it seems that online dating is simply a natural progression. But is real romance, inexplicable intrigue and the thrill of the chase possible online? Of course it is.
There are thousands of couples who’ve met on dating sites and a plethora of advanced flirting tools are now at our fingertips. But many singles who crave a connection may embrace technology are opting instead for more personal introductions.
Many mums might seem like prudes when it comes to dating, but mine taught me the golden rule of dating – which can equally be applied to sex. She said “if you go and have a 10 course meal, it’s fantastic and delicious, but you don’t necessarily want to go and have another 10 course meal again the next night and the night after that.”
It seems that in this techno age that delayed gratification is almost a thing of the past. In my eyes, anticipation – that warm, sweet, heady glow that builds when you spend time with someone new – cannot be replaced with a Poke, a Wink or a Kiss.
Quick Connections seven top tips for getting to know your date face to face:
• Smile, have fun, enjoy yourself, be in the moment. Be yourself.
• Be warm and open (though not too eager)! Give a couple of compliments.
• Ask questions, be interested and listen to what your date has to say.
• Leave a little for next time you meet - no need to share your life story.
• Dress to impress but not too sexy. Smell good, with just the slightest hint of
fragrance.
• Maintain eye contact to show you’re interested.
• Flirt if it feels right - build rapport and attraction.
Quick Connections is the dating events company for Illawarra and Sutherland Shire singles. www.quickconnections.com.au | 
